Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
