how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
honey bunches of taint.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
