let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
