imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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