Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
