so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Congratulations! We have a period
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