Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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