just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize