I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think I won the penis lottery.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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