they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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