Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
