I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just gargled with NyQuil
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
