i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
