uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
