I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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