look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
