there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
