I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
