mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
