..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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