Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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