Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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