Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Non-Jews are for practice
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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