What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
