i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
