what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
