I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
