He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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