dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
