At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I stole a fireplace last night.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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