my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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