clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
