Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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