I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
