I want to walk on stilts...naked
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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