just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
