this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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