absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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