my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
