This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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