I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
