we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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