oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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