He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
