it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
