Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
