On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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