he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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