Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
