I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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