If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
