im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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