He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think my mom watched the whole time
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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