It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Someone came in the potted fern
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize