pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
