You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
